Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Whoa, Nettie!

It's been weeks, girl! I would love to say that it's because my life is this crazy social whirl and I'm too busy to post...but my life is too quiet even for a blog. Except that I might have to kill Wayne.

Does it ever make you homicidal when your husband/roommate/significant other swears they cleaned 'the whole house' and they LIE?!? I realize that most people have more to complain about but it really pisses me off when someone says they did every last thing and um, you didn't? First off, it's real risky to be telling someone with OCD tendencies that you did 'everything'. We're gonna find *something*. Second of all, just say you 'cleaned house'. Don't leave crumbs all over the back of the sink and the mirrors dirty. (Because? Seriously? I can still see the toothpaste splashes all over the damn thing!)

I think my husband has selective sight. He doesn't SEE the floor around the toilet, therefore he doesn't have to clean it. Last week we actually. cleaned. the. bathroom. together. (I know!!) He still managed to 'mop the floor' without actually moving the wastebasket or getting around the toilet. I went off the gather more cleaning supplies and I came back to a wet floor, so I just assumed, ya know. An hour later, I saw the band-aid wrappers and dust bunnies behind the wastebasket and behind the toilet. Which are two areas that I personally feel need as much disenfecting as possible.

So now when dear hubby tells me he 'cleaned the whole house' I have to steel myself to notice the good and skip over the bad. 'Cause he's kind of like a little kid, really. You talk about his great use of color and his imagination, not that his crayon portrait of grandma really looks more like the Saggy Baggy elephant. And I have to lie to myself that it's not so bad, millions of women would love their S.O. to clean at all. Because if you can't lie to yourself, Nettie, who can you lie to?

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